Astrological Discrimination
Is there a “best” Zodiac to be? According to Vogue India, it’s a Leo. In a reddit thread on /r/astrologymemes about signs with the best reputation — the answer is apparently “definitely Sagittarius. Everyone seems to LOOOOVE Sagittarius” (annoyed emphasis mine).
So, you — an adult — might be thinking “of course there’s no best zodiac sign to be. In fact, I don’t even believe in astrology, I think it’s a pseudoscie-”
First of all, shut up — yes we agree astrology is fake and dumb.
My point here isn’t to prove that astrology is fake and dumb. That’s been done a bunch of times. Most satisfyingly (imo), by Christian Rudder, a co-founder of Okcupid, who showed that the odds of two people matching are exactly the same, for any given star sign combination. So yes, you are a genius. And can bask in the smug satisfaction of being proven so elegantly right.
Moving on.
My point — the really important thing here to talk about — is that none of these “best zodiac signs” lists have Capricorn as the best sign. That is important because I am a Capricorn. And if your made up system of starology doesn’t prove me best, something is DEFINITELY wrong with it. And not just scientifically wrong. Morally wrong.
Why?
Well imagine if you saw this sign.
You’d be like — oh yeah, that was super racist, but glad we don’t live in such backwards times. Well it’s true. As we know, all racism has been solved.
Well almost. Astrological discrimination still runs rampant.
Think of poor Christine. She applied to a housing opening looking for a new roomate and got this text back.
I think we can all agree that there is nothing more egalitarian than denying someone housing based on their date of birth.
But listen, a part of me gets it. This is a Capricorn:
I wouldn’t want to live with someone who reminded me of some sort of nightmare-fuel sea-goat every day either. That’s fair. And that’s not racist. That’s just common sense.
But what about this? Imagine you grew up in Vienna. You just graduated college. And your passion is cars. Specifically — car insurance. Even more specifically, you love selling car insurance policies.
Unfortunately, you are a Pisces
Why should this matter? Well …
In 2009 an Austrian insurance company advertised, "'We are looking for people over 20 for part-time jobs in sales and management with the following star signs: Capricorn, Taurus, Aquarius, Aries and Leo."
Dashed — your lifelong dream of selling car insurance, because you were born (gasp) on March 18th.
Can the courts help you? Surely, the JUSTICE system has some way of righting this wrong. Right? Wrong. While Austria has equal opportunity laws that protect against discrimination based on gender, age, and race, there is no protection against discrimination based on date of birth (which in a way you might think is sort of “age”-related but anywhoo). And thus, the court apparently found that this astrological discrimination was not illegal.
So, now you — Otto Von Bishelm — in your frustration, run off to China to a start a new life, free from astrological repression. After spending your last dime on airfare to pursue your dream of selling car stuff, you wind up in Changzhou, along the southern bank of the Yangtze River. You meet Que Gangjian, who is a manager at a regional car sales company. Just your luck!
The only thing about Mr. Que Gangjian is that one time he was interviewed by the New York Times about the requirements he wants in a sales rep — and he said “hardworking attitude, driver’s license and quick tongue”. Oh and also that you are a Scorpio, Capricorn, or Gemini as “people who fall under these three signs tend to be more persistent — they don’t give up as easily.”
So, Otto is fucked.
As are, perhaps, the four percent of Chinese new grads who report having their Zodiac sign held against them when they were looking for jobs, or the millions of lovestruck Indians whose parents insist that their children have their astrological compatability computed before getting married (if less than 18 aspects match then “the marriage cannot be successful” as per the hard hitting journalism from the Times of India).
But enough about the victims. What about these astrological racists — the Caprico-phobes and Leo chauvinists? What is their story? Who hurt them?
There are obvious correct answers — like that astrology provides them a common language to make sense of the trajectory of their life, their personality, their patterns of behavior, and the ups and downs of their professional and romantic relationships, in an increasingly secular age and amid financially uncertain times, even if the basis of that sense-making system isn’t a 100% grounded in science, and that this interest was likely accelerated during the pandemic, as people sat isolated and alienated in their houses, proving a ripe and primed audience for TikTok influencers to diseminate their content, not to mention the financial incentives to spurn further growth in what is now estimated to be a $23 billion dollar astrology industry.
And sure, a few isolated individual mights might take it too far. But for most, astrology, even if a little dumb, is fine. And even nice. Maybe we should all learn a little more about astrology as means of relating to each other, and building a little community.
Is that a reasonable stance?
No.
Why?
Because I don’t want to live in a world where Vogue India is telling our kids that Bennito Musolini (Leo) is better than Jesus Christ (December baby, Capricorn).
And neither should you.
Sebastian- This is altogether fun, interesting, and self-aware. I don’t know if there’s a best sign. But everybody’s biased towards their own, I’d imagine? I know I would.